Hi friends,
This looks like a great project, and Mira is an absolute dear. Please forward this widely, and contribute if you can!
xox,
Gina
---
Subject: Call for submissions: "How to Fuck a Trans Woman"
Reply To: fisty.cupcake@gmail.com
This is an open call for submissions; please forward to anyone who
even *might* be interested.
Sex with trans women can be a challenging experience for new partners,
and even for the trans woman in question. We learn things about our
bodies as we go because there's no instruction manual, no guidebook
for how we're supposed to be fucking. All sorts of assumptions about
our bodies and how we have sex or fuck can keep potential lovers wary
or from expressing the interest they feel for us. And we don't all
fuck the same way, so even if someone has been with a few of us their
experiences might be totally different and not helpful to the next,
and the next.
It can be hard to name our bodies in ways that we feel are authentic
but that also feel sexy. It can be difficult to claim our bodies and
our pleasure for ourselves when we might not feel as much ownership
for them as we would like. Sometimes, at least for me, I can feel
very frustrated trying to explain myself through metaphor, analogy,
and comparison because there simply is no vocabulary to explain my
body the way I want to explain it.
I want to start a serious conversation between trans women to share
information about how we're fucking, no matter *who* we're fucking or
what fucking means to us. I'm not naive enough to believe that this
hasn't been attempted before, but I am humble enough to admit that I
haven't been successful at finding those previous efforts. I'm also
smart enough to know that I can't be the only one out there who feels
like she is routinely reinventing what should have, and probably was,
already discovered, documented, and discussed. Old information is
*definitely* welcome; this is about sharing information, not
(necessarily) sharing new information.
This is a preliminary call for submissions for a pamphlet or zine, to
be distributed as widely as possible in every and any format
available, with very humble goals: to start a conversation about how
trans women are having sex. This is meant to be a conversation that
includes trans women and our lovers. It can be as specific as you
like, and it is NOT a problem if you want to contribute anonymously.
All sorts of contributions would be and will be valued, including
drawings and schematics (!!!), sex stories about good sex, essays,
"what to do" and "what not to do" lists, safer sex guides, ...
anything really, but with the acknowledgment that while a lot of us
will learn something about ourselves or find some really helpful
advice, there's no *one way* to fuck a trans lady, any more than
there's any *one way* to fuck anyone else. Our goal should be to
learn as *many ways* to have good sex as possible.
The first issue of this zine will be distributed electronically and in
print by request; submissions are due *really really soon*: July 21st
for the first issue, which will be released August 1st, no matter how
much or how little content has been collected.
Please send your contributions to M. Darling at: fisty.cupcake@gmail.com
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I'm still a little verklempt...
Girl Talk was just flat-out incredible. Bless you & thank you, Ryka, Tina, Lauren, Nomy, Rose, Dorian, & Julia. You were all engaging and brilliant. Right now, I want us all to take over the world. Or at least go on tour together. ;)
My favorite moment from my individual reading was the audience response to this excerpt:
I was not expecting to get quite such a resounding "YES!!!" from the audience. It was hella comforting, and -- as cheezy as it sounds -- really renewed my faith in my dyke community.
Anyway, Julia and I will have footage from the show up soon. I'll link to pictures and audio/video footage then.
My favorite moment from my individual reading was the audience response to this excerpt:
[...] Using the word genderqueer to describe myself is hard. For a long time, it felt like a word that was fundamentally not mine. Like a word that other, more masculine, more entitled-to-it people had the power to take away. Before I met [my ex], genderqueer was the property of female-assigned people who ape a kind of masculinity that I find privileged and pompous. None of the genderqueers I met in college – and I've been out since I was 11, but college was the first time I heard people using the term in any kind of wide-spread way – none of those people had genders like mine. They were skinny, wealthy, WASP-y, self-described “tranny b-o-i-z,” sporting trucker caps and workshirts when they'd never actually driven a fucking truck in their entire trust-funded lives. They talked a lot about the evils of other peoples' privilege without examining their own. They were devotees of hipsterism, and drinksterism, and the “We'll have sex with hot femme girls, but we won't let them actually talk” School of Butch Chauvinism.
They were the Dude-Bro's of the genderqueer world. You know who I'm talking about?
I was not expecting to get quite such a resounding "YES!!!" from the audience. It was hella comforting, and -- as cheezy as it sounds -- really renewed my faith in my dyke community.
Anyway, Julia and I will have footage from the show up soon. I'll link to pictures and audio/video footage then.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Moving, moving, moving!
So, I'm looking to move within San Francisco on August 1st. Me and my beloved housemate of four years are parting ways because I'm adopting a cat and looking for a room with a little more space than what I currently have. After a fairly abysmal hunt for affordable studios that aren't Hobbit Holes, I've decided to look at room shares. (If, by the grace of God, you know of some Magic Crazy Awesome Rent Control Studio Deal, hit me up, please).
More about me:
I'm a queer femme writer, activist, and cultural worker (most of my artistic and activist work is about queer, trans, and sex worker communities). I'll be starting the MFA in Fiction program at SF State in the fall. I'm a San Francisco native (I grew up in the Ingleside/Lakeview), and I've lived in Mission for the past four years. I'm a good tenant and a good housemate -- responsible, communicative, no drama, tidy but not neat-freaky, with good credit and my finances in order, a stable non-profit job (come August, that'll be stable Financial Aid), and great personal references.
I tend to stay in apartments long-term. I don't have to be best friends with the people I live with, but I like at least being friendly with my housemates -- watching the occasional movie or grabbing the occasional cup of coffee together. I eat meat occasionally, but I mostly cook vegetarian. Some weeks I'm out a lot, at events or teaching or doing performances; other weeks I'm home a lot, writing. I like having friends over to cook and hang out, but I don't like to bring the party/bar/club home. I don't smoke and rarely drink, but I'm not picky about what my housemates do as long as the house isn't Party Central.
What I would love in a share situation: Queer/trans friendly, sex worker friendly, kitty-friendly, good sunlight, a shower with a tub, a maximum of 3 other housemates, room to store my bike indoors, and reasonable rent (for a share, $700 is about my max -- less would be great, too).
Neighborhoods I'm potentially jazzed about living in include the Mission (including the Outer Mission and the border of Glen Park), Bernal Heights, Noe Valley, the Castro-ish/Dolores/Church Street areas, Potrero Hill, Hayes Valley, the Inner Sunset, Cole Valley, the Lower & Upper Haight, and South of Market.
Pretty please ping me if you know of anything! I'm queershoulder[@]gmail[.]com.
More about me:
I'm a queer femme writer, activist, and cultural worker (most of my artistic and activist work is about queer, trans, and sex worker communities). I'll be starting the MFA in Fiction program at SF State in the fall. I'm a San Francisco native (I grew up in the Ingleside/Lakeview), and I've lived in Mission for the past four years. I'm a good tenant and a good housemate -- responsible, communicative, no drama, tidy but not neat-freaky, with good credit and my finances in order, a stable non-profit job (come August, that'll be stable Financial Aid), and great personal references.
I tend to stay in apartments long-term. I don't have to be best friends with the people I live with, but I like at least being friendly with my housemates -- watching the occasional movie or grabbing the occasional cup of coffee together. I eat meat occasionally, but I mostly cook vegetarian. Some weeks I'm out a lot, at events or teaching or doing performances; other weeks I'm home a lot, writing. I like having friends over to cook and hang out, but I don't like to bring the party/bar/club home. I don't smoke and rarely drink, but I'm not picky about what my housemates do as long as the house isn't Party Central.
What I would love in a share situation: Queer/trans friendly, sex worker friendly, kitty-friendly, good sunlight, a shower with a tub, a maximum of 3 other housemates, room to store my bike indoors, and reasonable rent (for a share, $700 is about my max -- less would be great, too).
Neighborhoods I'm potentially jazzed about living in include the Mission (including the Outer Mission and the border of Glen Park), Bernal Heights, Noe Valley, the Castro-ish/Dolores/Church Street areas, Potrero Hill, Hayes Valley, the Inner Sunset, Cole Valley, the Lower & Upper Haight, and South of Market.
Pretty please ping me if you know of anything! I'm queershoulder[@]gmail[.]com.
REBEL GIRL round-up
1. Oh my god. You guys! REBEL GIRL was so good last night! Melissa's sweet, awkward, funny internet/teen goth/riot grrrl crossroads memoir! Zuleikha's Muslim Shark Manifesto! Chan's Riot Brrrlesque! Liz's amazing & hilarious Riot Grrrl Mail Bag (she read from people's zines & letters!), and the snippets from The Slut Manifesto (now available for download on Kindle, OMG!). And the amazing Nomy & Melodie doing grrrl covers on the accordian. (I got shivers when they sang "Calculated," people. Shivers.)
And, amazingly, my month-long anxiety/panic streak and writer's block finally broke. I wrote something new, and sweet -- a letter to one of my favorite grrrl penpals, a dozen years later. I'm really happy with the piece, and with the audience response. I'll be posting it here and at Bilerico soon.
The goodness of the show last night makes me feel even more optimistic and excited about Girl Talk. Which you should also come to. Duh.
2. I really like my new 1940's-style curly girl haircut -- my hair curls like whoa when it's short, and I've been wearing a fake rose in my hair. I also got a magenta fake feather tuft. I have decided that life is more fun with flowers and feathers in my curls.
3. I was so glad to have Melissa back in town, however briefly. I've missed her a lot. San Francisco just isn't the same for me without her around.
And, amazingly, my month-long anxiety/panic streak and writer's block finally broke. I wrote something new, and sweet -- a letter to one of my favorite grrrl penpals, a dozen years later. I'm really happy with the piece, and with the audience response. I'll be posting it here and at Bilerico soon.
The goodness of the show last night makes me feel even more optimistic and excited about Girl Talk. Which you should also come to. Duh.
2. I really like my new 1940's-style curly girl haircut -- my hair curls like whoa when it's short, and I've been wearing a fake rose in my hair. I also got a magenta fake feather tuft. I have decided that life is more fun with flowers and feathers in my curls.
3. I was so glad to have Melissa back in town, however briefly. I've missed her a lot. San Francisco just isn't the same for me without her around.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
A life/show/writing update
1. I wrote this little piece about my early porn years for Bilerico.com awhile back. Take a look.
2. I've been a little stressed out this month, what with National Queer Arts Fest. See also, I'm leaving my non-profit job in late July to start school in August. See also, I'm moving in August (still within SF, just to a bigger and kitty-friendly place -- my current room is tiny and my current housemate, while absolutely beloved to me, has a rabbit that the kitty I'm getting would probably terrorize). All of these changes -- especially the going to school one -- are really positive for me, but I'm a bit in that "YIKES, THIS IS A LOT AT ONCE" place right now.
3. Have I mentioned those two shows I have in two weeks? If you're in San Francisco, please come to "REBEL GIRL: a riot grrrl nostalgia show" on Thursday night. Performers are bringing old & new zines, buttons, flyers, and other riot grrrl ephemera for folks to ogle and buy. In addition to all our awesome readers -- me, Melissa Gira Grant, Zuleikha Mahmood, & Liz Henry -- Chan Dynasty is performing some Riot Brrrlesque, and rumor also has it that Nomy Lamm & Melodie Younce are gonna belt out some riot grrrl covers on the accordian. I'm also baking the audience cupcakes, wearing a vintage slip, and reading about SF grrrl culture circa 1996-1998. My piece is a lot of stories about things that felt very integral to my growing up, but are gone now -- the Bearded Lady, BUILD Arts Collective, the Harvey Milk Institute... Come out, pretty please! It will be a lot of fun!
4. Also, if you are in SF -- please don't forget to come to "Girl Talk: A Cis & Trans Woman Dialogue" on June 17th. Featuring me, Nomy Lamm, Julia Serano, Rose Simms aka Little Light, Ryka Aoki de la Cruz, Lauren Steeley, Dorian Katz, and Tina D'Elia!
5. I love that I live in a city where, during my 4 block walk to BART, I spot one of my favorite writers walking and one of my favorite porn stars biking down Valencia Street.
2. I've been a little stressed out this month, what with National Queer Arts Fest. See also, I'm leaving my non-profit job in late July to start school in August. See also, I'm moving in August (still within SF, just to a bigger and kitty-friendly place -- my current room is tiny and my current housemate, while absolutely beloved to me, has a rabbit that the kitty I'm getting would probably terrorize). All of these changes -- especially the going to school one -- are really positive for me, but I'm a bit in that "YIKES, THIS IS A LOT AT ONCE" place right now.
3. Have I mentioned those two shows I have in two weeks? If you're in San Francisco, please come to "REBEL GIRL: a riot grrrl nostalgia show" on Thursday night. Performers are bringing old & new zines, buttons, flyers, and other riot grrrl ephemera for folks to ogle and buy. In addition to all our awesome readers -- me, Melissa Gira Grant, Zuleikha Mahmood, & Liz Henry -- Chan Dynasty is performing some Riot Brrrlesque, and rumor also has it that Nomy Lamm & Melodie Younce are gonna belt out some riot grrrl covers on the accordian. I'm also baking the audience cupcakes, wearing a vintage slip, and reading about SF grrrl culture circa 1996-1998. My piece is a lot of stories about things that felt very integral to my growing up, but are gone now -- the Bearded Lady, BUILD Arts Collective, the Harvey Milk Institute... Come out, pretty please! It will be a lot of fun!
4. Also, if you are in SF -- please don't forget to come to "Girl Talk: A Cis & Trans Woman Dialogue" on June 17th. Featuring me, Nomy Lamm, Julia Serano, Rose Simms aka Little Light, Ryka Aoki de la Cruz, Lauren Steeley, Dorian Katz, and Tina D'Elia!
5. I love that I live in a city where, during my 4 block walk to BART, I spot one of my favorite writers walking and one of my favorite porn stars biking down Valencia Street.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Sex Workers' Writing Workshop TONIGHT! / Rebel Girl & Girl Talk @ Nat'l Queer Arts Fest!
Hi folks,
Sex Workers' Writing Workshop is TONIGHT, and my writing workshops and shows for the National Queer Arts Festival in June are listed below. (Btw, I strongly encourage you to get tickets for Rebel Girl and Girl Talk in advance from BrownPaperTickets -- the seats are gonna fill up fast!)
Come write! Come see me & a lot of other fabulous read! And have a fabulous end of a lovely spring & beginning of a gorgeous summer!
XOX,
Gina
----
*May Sex Workers' Writing Workshop*: Wednesday, May 20th, 7-9pm
*June Sex Workers' Writing Workshop*: Wednesday, June 3rd, 7-9pm
(Please note that there is only doing *one* Writing Workshop in June.)
Center for Sex & Culture
1519 Mission Street, San Francisco (cross street 11th -- it's the building with the pink awning)
Sliding scale $10-$20 *more if you can, less if you can't, nobody turned away*
Workshop facilitated by Gina de Vries
This is a writing workshop for current and former sex workers to share their writing and get honest, non-judgmental feedback. Workshop participants are not obligated to write exclusively about sex work, but writing about work in the sex industry (as well as writing about other topics) will be welcomed. This is a place where people can write and share about their sex work experiences without having to censor themselves or explain every detail. Beginning writers are encouraged to attend along with more seasoned wordsmiths.
---
The National Queer Arts Festival & San Francisco in Exile Present:
REBEL GIRL: a riot grrl nostalgia show
Thursday, June 11th
The Garage
975 Howard, San Francisco
Show at 7:30; Doors at 7pm
Tickets: $10-20
Buy Tickets on-line!!: www.brownpapertickets.com
http://www.queerculturalcenter.org/Pages/QFest09/Rebel.html
All Star, All Grrrl Cast!:
Gina de Vries
Chan Dynasty
Melissa Gira Grant
Liz Henry
Nomy Lamm
Zuleikha Mahmood
Melodie Younce
Join the National Queer Arts Festival and San Francisco
in Exile for a Riot Grrrl Revival -- where you can once again dress in
your leopard print thrift store finery, scrawl SLUT across your
midriff, toss that Huggy Bear 7" on the turntable, and make a fanzine
extolling the virtues of veganism + vibrators. It's Revolution
Grrrl-Style, Now! -- with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Past and
present zinestars and grrrl revolutionaries will tell wax nostalgic
about the old days, and let you know what they've been up to recently.
Zines and cupcakes will be available for purchase.
----
The National Queer Arts Festival Presents:
Girl Talk: A Cis & Trans Woman Dialogue
Curated by Gina de Vries & Julia Serano
Wednesday, June 17th
LGBT Center - Ceremonial Room
1800 Market Street, San Francisco
7:30pm
Tickets: $12-$20
Buy Tickets on-line!!: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/66001
http://www.queerculturalcenter.org/Pages/QFest09/GirlTalk.html
Featuring the lovely & fabulous!:
Ryka Aoki de la Cruz
Tina D’Elia
Gina de Vries
Dorian Katz
Nomy Lamm
Julia Serano
Rose Sims (aka Little Light)
Lauren Steely
Queer cisgender women and queer transgender women are allies, friends,
support systems, lovers, and partners to each other. Trans and cis
women are allies to each other every day -- from activism that
includes everything from Take Back the Night to Camp Trans; to
supporting each other in having “othered” bodies in a world that is
obsessed with idealized body types; to loving, having sex, and
building family with each other in a world that wants us to disappear.
Girl Talk is a spoken word show fostering and promoting dialogue about
these relationships. Trans and cis women will read about their
relationships of all kinds – sexual and romantic, chosen and blood
family, friendships, support networks, activist alliances. Join us for
a night of stories about sex, bodies, feminism, activism, challenging
exclusion in masculine-centric dyke spaces, dating and breaking up,
finding each other, and finding love and family.
Sex Workers' Writing Workshop is TONIGHT, and my writing workshops and shows for the National Queer Arts Festival in June are listed below. (Btw, I strongly encourage you to get tickets for Rebel Girl and Girl Talk in advance from BrownPaperTickets -- the seats are gonna fill up fast!)
Come write! Come see me & a lot of other fabulous read! And have a fabulous end of a lovely spring & beginning of a gorgeous summer!
XOX,
Gina
----
*May Sex Workers' Writing Workshop*: Wednesday, May 20th, 7-9pm
*June Sex Workers' Writing Workshop*: Wednesday, June 3rd, 7-9pm
(Please note that there is only doing *one* Writing Workshop in June.)
Center for Sex & Culture
1519 Mission Street, San Francisco (cross street 11th -- it's the building with the pink awning)
Sliding scale $10-$20 *more if you can, less if you can't, nobody turned away*
Workshop facilitated by Gina de Vries
This is a writing workshop for current and former sex workers to share their writing and get honest, non-judgmental feedback. Workshop participants are not obligated to write exclusively about sex work, but writing about work in the sex industry (as well as writing about other topics) will be welcomed. This is a place where people can write and share about their sex work experiences without having to censor themselves or explain every detail. Beginning writers are encouraged to attend along with more seasoned wordsmiths.
---
The National Queer Arts Festival & San Francisco in Exile Present:
REBEL GIRL: a riot grrl nostalgia show
Thursday, June 11th
The Garage
975 Howard, San Francisco
Show at 7:30; Doors at 7pm
Tickets: $10-20
Buy Tickets on-line!!: www.brownpapertickets.com
http://www.queerculturalcenter.org/Pages/QFest09/Rebel.html
All Star, All Grrrl Cast!:
Gina de Vries
Chan Dynasty
Melissa Gira Grant
Liz Henry
Nomy Lamm
Zuleikha Mahmood
Melodie Younce
Join the National Queer Arts Festival and San Francisco
in Exile for a Riot Grrrl Revival -- where you can once again dress in
your leopard print thrift store finery, scrawl SLUT across your
midriff, toss that Huggy Bear 7" on the turntable, and make a fanzine
extolling the virtues of veganism + vibrators. It's Revolution
Grrrl-Style, Now! -- with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Past and
present zinestars and grrrl revolutionaries will tell wax nostalgic
about the old days, and let you know what they've been up to recently.
Zines and cupcakes will be available for purchase.
----
The National Queer Arts Festival Presents:
Girl Talk: A Cis & Trans Woman Dialogue
Curated by Gina de Vries & Julia Serano
Wednesday, June 17th
LGBT Center - Ceremonial Room
1800 Market Street, San Francisco
7:30pm
Tickets: $12-$20
Buy Tickets on-line!!: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/66001
http://www.queerculturalcenter.org/Pages/QFest09/GirlTalk.html
Featuring the lovely & fabulous!:
Ryka Aoki de la Cruz
Tina D’Elia
Gina de Vries
Dorian Katz
Nomy Lamm
Julia Serano
Rose Sims (aka Little Light)
Lauren Steely
Queer cisgender women and queer transgender women are allies, friends,
support systems, lovers, and partners to each other. Trans and cis
women are allies to each other every day -- from activism that
includes everything from Take Back the Night to Camp Trans; to
supporting each other in having “othered” bodies in a world that is
obsessed with idealized body types; to loving, having sex, and
building family with each other in a world that wants us to disappear.
Girl Talk is a spoken word show fostering and promoting dialogue about
these relationships. Trans and cis women will read about their
relationships of all kinds – sexual and romantic, chosen and blood
family, friendships, support networks, activist alliances. Join us for
a night of stories about sex, bodies, feminism, activism, challenging
exclusion in masculine-centric dyke spaces, dating and breaking up,
finding each other, and finding love and family.
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